


The Grovel

by concertigrossi



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Episode: s01e07 The Hub, Gen, Missing Scene, Quintuple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/concertigrossi/pseuds/concertigrossi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So what DO you do when one of your subordinates accidentally uses a tranquilizer gun on a good friend and coworker?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Grovel

**Author's Note:**

> I rarely do episode reaction fics, but in this case, I really wanted to see how Phil approached a recently-sedated Jasper...

  
Coulson headed to the infirmary in a truly lethal mood.  He was going to have a talk with Simmons and Skye in the near future that neither of them would enjoy.  He expected this sort of nonsense from Skye, but Simmons?  She always seemed like such a good, by-the-book agent!  At this point, he was rather forcibly reminded of a quotation from one of his favorite novels, along the lines of that sometimes an overabundance of respectability just meant that there was a whole lot of dammed-up disreputability just waiting to run free.  He would have to pay closer attention to the girl. 

But now, it was time for a truly embarrassing apology.

He turned into medical bay, and found a very conscious, very angry Jasper Sitwell, secured to a hospital bed with soft restraints.  Phil slipped into his room and shut the door.

“She fucking SHOT me, Phil.  She fucking SHOT ME!” snarled Sitwell.

“With a tranq gun!  Why are you tied down?” asked Phil, aghast.

“Because they caught on to the fact that I’m over two months late with my physical, and are holding me here until they can bring in an eval team.”

Ah.  That made sense.  Sitwell kept himself in tip-top shape, but absolutely hated being poked and prodded in the exam rooms, in no small part because of the lectures he’d get on his diet and how his ongoing quest to rate every greasy spoon in New York City was a bad idea.

“What the fuck was that all about, Phil?  Explain to me exactly why I shouldn’t have her brought up on charges!  The wall-panel access alone…”

“She was doing it on my orders.”

“What.”

“It was a training exercise.  I just didn’t think she’d bring the Night-Night gun with her.”

“A training exercise,” said Jasper flatly.

Phil nodded earnestly.  “Capture the flag.  Simmons is hoping to pass her field test next time around.”

“Really.  And you felt the Hub was the place for that sort of shit?”

“No place safer.”

“Uh-huh.   And are people actually buying this little explanation?”

Phil managed to look as innocent as a new-born babe, which invariably meant he was hellishly guilty of something.  “Why wouldn’t they?”

Jasper narrowed his eyes.  “All right, a training exercise.  Whatever game you’re playing with your little ducklings, I don’t want to know.  But you fucking owe me.”

Phil managed to keep the relief from his face.  “That I do.”

“Do you know the amount of crap I’m going to get for letting _Gemma Simmons_ get the drop on me?”

That was, unfortunately, true, if the security footage got around.  He made a note to talk to Carroll in IT about deleting the video from the servers.  Damn it, he was having to have to call in a lot of favors today.

“It was a lucky shot,” said Phil.

“Whatever.  You can start paying me back by undoing these restraints.”

“Jasper, the medical assessments are there for a reason -“

“COULSON.”

“Right.  On it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Phil’s favorite author is Terry Pratchett, and the line is from The Truth. It reads:
> 
> “She’d been a respectable young woman for quite some time. In some people, that means there’s a lot of dammed-up disreputability just waiting to burst out.”
> 
> And if you’ve never read Terry Pratchett, you really, really should. :)


End file.
